


Forgiveness

by NeiNing



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Crying, Cum Inside, Erection, Forced, Japan, Kidnapped, M/M, Penetration, Rape, Rescued, Torture, Violence, anal penetration, blindfold, chained, cum, drugged, injuries, penis - Freeform, tied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:35:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27390553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeiNing/pseuds/NeiNing
Summary: Leonardo wakes up in the worst place possible.
Relationships: Leonardo/Raphael (TMNT)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 2 chapters long fic which I wrote somewhere at the beginning of this year. I was stuck with chapter 2 for a long time, but finally it's done!
> 
> Once again I apologize my writing mistakes since English isn't my native language.

Leonardo felt dizzy and weak as he laid on the tatami covered floor in old Japanese home. He had no memory how he had got there, but he knew he was there against his will. His hands were tied on the chain, its other end bolted on the floor. His eyes were blindfolded as well.

The smell was unfamiliar to him, ugly taste of something lingering in his mouth. Smacking his mouth softly few times only made the taste more stronger and horrible.

A door was slid open, making turtle stiff on his spot. Listening the steps Leonardo swallowed. Whoever was in the room was now circling around him few times before settling down near his feet.

”Are ya awake?”

Voice was a bit low, but not threatening or… evil. But still Leonardo considered his options of replying or not. Eventually he nodded.

”Okay.”

Next thing what Leonardo realized was hands sliding up on his robe covered body, sneaking inside revealing his shoulders and collarbone area.

In panic Leonardo tried to scream, tell this other person to stop, but all what came out was tiny whimpering.

”It’s the drug. Don’t try anything. Just be still and let me finish.”

But that didn’t comfort or calm other turtle at all while hands moved to spread Leonardo’s legs open, wet finger heading down to play with his entrance. Louder whimper came out from Leo’s throat, but it did nothing to stop his rapist.

”Struggle all ya want, but ya won’t get away.”

Leonardo was trembling heavily, cold sweat covering his body. No… No! This couldn’t be! This couldn’t happen! Then, in next second, his entrance was pierced by ready erection. Throwing his head back Leonardo managed to make small scream, trying to wiggle away from the other male.

However, it didn’t work since Leonardo was pulled back, other body laying on his heavily to keep him still while hard dick started to move back and forth inside him.

Crying freely but silently Leonardo bit his lip, his head spinning. _”It’s just my body”_ kept repeating itself in Leonardo’s head, but it did little to comfort him. Mouth came right next to his head, soft and silent whispers directed to his ear.

”I know ya are s-scared, shocked, con -uh - fused, disgusted, probably e-even in pain, but let me a - assure ya – I’m doing this ta save ya.”

Leonardo, now more recovered from the drug, swallowed his loud sobs.

”H-how r-r-raping me s-saves me?”

Leonardo heard hard swallow right next to his ear.

”Trust me. I know… hng, it’s lot ta ask, but I’ve b-been there where ya are now… Ya don’t w-wanna end up in the… The room full of m-men who, uuh, keep raping ya days nonstop.”

It felt like all warmth left Leonardo’s body as the horrible images painted themselves in his mind. Being raped for days by men nonstop..?! No! NO! He didn’t want that!

Hands wrapped themselves around Leonardo’s body, holding him close.

”So please, t-trust me. I do this ta help ya. I’m, ah, one of the superior ones here and by raping ya I’m c-claiming ya. Hhng… Ya belong ta me now s-so others can’t t-touch ya. I know it doesn’t make a-any sense, but these are the r-rules here.”

”S-some f-fucked up rules y-you have…”

”Y-yeah, I know. I haven’t m-make them, hngh, but I need ta fo - oh- llow them. After all I have my superiors who’s – ah – orders I must follow.”

Leonardo was quiet as he kept panting with the other male, tears moisting his blindfold long time ago. This was too much. This wasn’t happening…! Sobbing louder Leonardo pulled his chains, trying them if they would give in, but they didn’t. On top of it Leonardo was too weak to use his full strength.

”I’m a-almost th-there…”

Leonardo shook his head. No. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want to feel any of this, he didn’t want any of this in any way! Just… Just **stop!**

Suddenly male over him thrusted all the way in, as deep as possible, making Leonardo gasp in horror as he felt something being released inside him. Trembling Leonardo didn’t bother to hold back his cry as other male’s cock slide out, sperm dripping out with it.

The time, the world, everything – stopped to exist in that moment. Leonardo no longer felt or heard anything. He just… was… Alone in this hollow and empty place. He had never felt like this – ever. But now…

When a hand touched his leg gently, Leonardo snapped out of his dark hollow place. But the first feeling which filled him – was fear. Oh no… He was going to be raped a second time! Or maybe even more!

”N--- No…”

”Calm down. I’m just cleaning ya.”

Warm, but wet, cloth ran all around between Leo’s legs and it… weirdly, felt nice. But of course it didn’t shook off the trauma. When washing him was over, other male sat beside Leonardo in silence, just watching and listening those helpless cries.

He felt bad for this other male, he really did. If there would had been another way to save him, he would had done it.

”Hey.”

Sobbing Leonardo turned his head towards the voice, not saying a thing.

”How good ya can fight? I heard some men talk earlier how they had seen ya fight before they managed ta capture ya.”

Leonardo was slightly confused about the sudden question, but perhaps it was to get his mind out of it what just happened.

”I… I’m quite good.”

”Will I be safe if I release your hands? Ya gonna kill me?”

Leonardo wanted to blurt out he would snap his rapist’s neck in the first second, but… Something told him not to say that. Not to be rude or mean to the other person.

”You are safe. I promise that on my honor.”

”Alright.”

It felt good to get the chain off from his wrists, feeling blood rush in them again. Moving his hands on his chest, Leonardo rubbed them slowly. Sudden hold on his hands startled him as his hands were pulled away, held in slightly bigger hands.

”Those bastards. They tied your hands too tight. There’s nasty marks around your wrists.”

Leonardo said nothing, just feeling thumbs rub his wrists. The touch was… amazingly soft, tender… Almost caring. But how? Why? Why his rapist would show such a thing to him?

”Can I take off your blindfold? That is if ya would like ta see me. I… I kinda thought it might would make ya feel less… shit if ya saw me.”

Leonardo pulled his hands back when they were released, unsure would he like to have the face of his rapist’s haunt him for the rest of his life. If he was going to leave this – whatever – place, ever.

”… Okay.”

Heart hammered hard in Leo’s chest as he felt fingers remove the blindfold and for a long moment Leonardo kept his eyes tightly shut, finally daring to open them slow. When eyelids were open, everything was blurry and spinning. It made Leonardo feel sick so he closed his eyes before trying again. This time it was better.

The room was very plain Japanese room, one door slightly open to the garden. It was night and some indoor lanterns were bringing light inside the room. At the end of his feet was a figure sitting and it gave Leonardo chills.

Forcing himself to sit slightly sideways, hugging his legs, Leonardo eyed the person. Much for his shock Leonardo realized this moment, staring that other male, was like staring his own face from water’s surface.

”Y-you are…”

”Just like ya.” Rubbing the back of his head emerald green turtle lowered his eyes on the floor in front of him. ”I thought… Maybe ya wouldn’t feel so bad about all this what just happened if ya saw me. Knew I was same as ya instead of dirty human.”

Leonardo said nothing as he observed this other mutant. He was more muscular and obviously larger and taller than Leonardo… And still he had showed such gentleness during raping him, being careful not to hurt him. Leonardo had to look away. Despite the fact he was mutant turtle too… 

”You said you raped me to save me. Was it only this one time or will there be more? I also know that you keep me safe from the others, but I… Still don’t get this. What will happen to me eventually?”

”It was only this one time ta claim ya. That’s all. I told everyone I’m gonna claim ya so they are fully aware of it that ya are now mine. So from my part there’s no more raping or sex. And as for what will happen ta ya… I cannot say.”

Yellow eyes watched how blue eyes closed, deep and defeated sigh being released as head dropped down. Defeated, this other turtle felt defeated for sure. He was raped and he had no idea what his future now would be.

”Raphael.”

”Huh?” Blue eyes darted at bigger turtle’s direction, asking.

”Name’s Raphael. Just in case if it makes ya feel any easier around me.”

”… Leonardo. I’m Leonardo.”

”Look, I’m truly sorry what I did ta ya, but like I said, I don’t want ya ta go down the same road as I did. None deserves that.”

”Were you raped for days by men?”

Yellow eyes sparked while there was small, but firm, nod. Leonardo swallowed, feeling horribly bad for the other mutant. Leonardo had been raped once, but this other male… Who knows how many times he had been taken by a force. Hundreds of times?

”I’m sorry for you.”

”It’s okay.” Raphael mumbled, looking at the moon through the open door. ”It happened years ago.”

Leonardo watched the other turtle who seemed to be getting lost in his memories. He had to do something since Leonardo was sure those memories weren’t the best ones.

”So… You said you are one of the superiors here. What does it mean?”

”It means I am on more higher level than most people here. I have some power and I can claim things, boss others around, give orders and make small rules, but I have my bosses too – and then there’s the Master of us all.”

”What kind of persons they are?”

There was a flash in yellow eyes as they turned more strict.

”Ya don’t wanna know.” Getting up Raphael walked to small closet, opening it.

Leonardo’s eyes followed other turtle as he laid futon right next to Leonardo with pillow and blanket.

”Here. Try ta get some sleep. It helps ta get rid of the drug and ya need rest overall. Tomorrow will be another day.”

Leonardo didn’t argue with the sleep offer. He was tired and his head still felt dizzy with a mess. Crawling on the futon Leonardo sighed, soon relaxing fully. God, he was tired… Actually so tired that he didn’t care when Raphael squeezed himself on the same futon, pulling Leonardo in his arms.

It was so weird. So confusing. First Raphael had raped him and now it almost felt like… if he was protecting him. Leonardo closed his tired eyes, suddenly finding himself enjoying Raphael’s body heat. It was amazingly calming, not to mention Raphael’s scent. It was strong, assuring, calming, protective.

Leonardo yawned wider than ever before, sleep suddenly taking him away, giving his mind some rest and peace from all the thoughts, fears and what ifs.

**

In the next day Leonardo was walking around the huge house with Raphael, chain around his neck. It almost felt like big turtle was showing him off to everyone else, to make sure he belonged to the emerald green turtle. Well, if it would keep Leonardo safe and Raphael would protect him, he would tolerate that.

Walking towards dark long hallway Leonardo started to feel uneasy. Moving closer behind Raphael, Leonardo kept his eyes and ears open. And his nose too since he couldn’t avoid the horrible smell of… body fluids, blood, sweat, sex… And the screams, cries, begs.

There was sliding double doors and they gave Leonardo chills and so horrible feeling. The sounds from behind them made Leo hurry his steps. Only until the duo was long past the door, did Leonardo dare to speak.

”W… What was that?”

Not moving his eyes on other turtle Raphael kept marching forward.

”The room where ya never don’t want ta end up ta. One of those screamers could had been ya.”

Rape room. It had to be it. Looking behind him once more Leonardo felt so broken, his heart sinking to his feet. That was beyond horrible… It was beyond sickening. It was… Just too much. Wishing he could had been able to do something to help all those poor men in there, Leonardo grabbed on Raphael’s hand, burying his face in his robe covered arm.

**

Raphael was taking Leonardo for a ride and it felt refreshing. This was Leonardo’s second week in the place and he hadn’t been outside anywhere else than at the backyard garden. It had been really helpful and healing place to the turtle who spent there hours, sitting in silence.

Now on the horse’s back – far away from the palace – Leo felt like he could breath and truly relax. Inside the walls he always felt like if he was being watched, either alone or with Raphael.

But one thing which kept troubling smaller turtle was the fact how Raphael was so silent. They hadn’t spoke anything even that it was afternoon already and they had left early in the morning.

Going through a forest, duo came to a small road, stopping for a second. Leonardo watched in silence how Raphael looked around before leading them again to the left. This small road eventually lead them on the yard of abandoned old home on top of small hill near the mountain wall. It wasn’t big and it definitely had seen its better days.

Turtles got off on their rides, Leonardo waiting by his horse when Raphael went to check the house and small yard better. Leonardo had no idea why they were there, but he felt weird in a way.

After the tour Raphael came back to Leonardo, taking some bags off on the horses.

”Come.”

Leonardo nodded as he followed Raphael inside, looking around. Well, at least inside of the house was in better shape than outside. To the left there was small kitchen with stone oven, next to kitchen was small doorway in another room which could had been small storage room.

Right in front of them was living room area with sank irori. It was nice since it would bring light and warmth in the house. On top of it, it also offered cooking chance.

Next to irori was plenty of place for futon, or futons. Leonardo was confused but at the same time he liked what he was seeing, but… Turning to look Raphael who was placing bags next to wall, Leonardo turned to face him.

”Why are we here?”

Raphael straightened himself, his yellow eyes piercing Leo’s soul.

”Because of ya.”

Not explaining more at once Raphael went outside, Leonardo following him. Leonardo watched how Raphael got on his horse, taking the reins of Leo’s horse. This confused smaller turtle, filling him slightly with fear.

”Listen ta me, Leonardo. This place is now yours.”

”What?! B-but what about you? You just leave me here? I-is this a joke or something?”

Turning his horse sideways, Raphael kept his eyes on Leo’s.

”Promise me ya will live and stay here, no matter what. Ya should be safe here from everyone else.”

”B-but why? Why would you do this?”

Raphael was quiet a moment, obviously struggling with some emotions.

”Because I want ya ta live, far away from that shit hole. Ya don’t belong ta me or anyone else. Ya are free.”

Horse turned around on its spot, following Raphael’s command. Leonardo gasped in shock, reaching after other turtle when he gave firm kick to his ride, riding away with dust cloud following him.

Leonardo was speechless, stunned, shocked. He just stood there looking after Raphael, hearing wind whistle all around him.

**

It hadn’t taken much time from Leonardo to learn to live in this small home, hunting his own food, fishing, and growing own vegetables and herbs.

Now, 30 years later, Leonardo was smiling under the sun as his blue eyes softly scanned small sprouts which were the greenest ever. Giving them water Leonardo smiled while talking to them. He liked to talk to nature. It gave him a sense of serenity.

Suddenly his serene moment was interrupted by steps echoing in the wind. They were coming towards the house. Leonardo stood straight, placing water bucket on the ground next to his feet. His eyes steeled as he spotted big dark figure approaching him.

Moving closer to the wall, where his plowing tools were, Leonardo reached to take a hold on the hoe. None shouldn’t know about the place or him.

Whoever was approaching him was not in their best shape for sure. First thing what Leonardo noticed was how the person was limping his left leg. It was quite clear and big movement too. Next thing was the breathing. Leonardo’s sensitive hearing picked up heavy, raspy and difficult breathing. It made light green turtle worried. Was this person injured and needed help?

Leonardo watched how this visitor came to stop, keeping his distance on the turtle. Suddenly he started to breath even more worse. It sounded like if he was choking. Not wasting time Leonardo grabbed small clean cup from the ground, filled it with fresh water and rushed to the visitor.

”Here. Drink. It’s just water.”

Other man said nothing as he lifted his trembling glove covered hands, taking the cup. After one big sip he gave the cup back, nodding. Leonardo took the item back, eyeing the visitor. He wasn’t able to see his face since this person was wearing big traditional straw hat which hid his whole head and face.

He was also heavily covered with armor, rope, hakamas, long scarf and cape with tabi shoes. As Leonardo kept eyeing the man, he didn’t see any blood on him.

”Are you injured? Would you like to sit down and rest for a bit? I can make you some food too.”

There was weird sound which, to Leonardo, sounded almost like a sobbed gasp and sound of drowning. It was weird and it gave him chills.

”Thank ya, stranger.”

Leonardo tensed a bit. That voice was low and raspy, but it had some familiarity in it. Watching the person adjust his hat Leonardo stood still, still being ready to defense himself if this all was just an acting to make him relax too much, dropping his defense.

”But I don’t want ta stay and be a burden. If I just could get more water I would be grateful. Then I keep going.”

Something wasn’t right. Leonardo felt worried about this man since even then, when he talked normally, he was panting and gasping for air like if he was suffocating.

”Please, sit down. I will get you some more water, giving you a bottle of it.”

”Thank ya, but I rather stand. Old bones, ya see. It’s hard ta get up.”

”I see. I will be quick then.”

And he was quick. Soon he came back with big bowl of water, bigger bottle full of fresh water. Giving the bowl to the man Leonardo watched in silence how the man drank, keeping his face hidden behind his hat.

When Leonardo gave him water bottle, other man’s hold slipped as he bend down to cough and gasp for air all of the sudden. Bottle fell on the ground, all water spilling out.

Rushing closer Leonardo took a hold on the man, rubbing his back. However his back felt… weird, especially near the back of the neck which wasn’t covered by the armor.

”Are you alright? Are you injured? Is there something I can do?”

There was real concern in Leonardo’s voice. It was tormenting and long moment before visitor could breath more or less well again.

”No, no. It’s… It’s alright.” Looking down the man sighed. ”I’m sorry about your water.”

”Don’t worry. It’s just water and I have plenty of it. Besides, there’s clear natural spring near by where I get more water.”

”I see. Well, I better get going. I have wasted enough of your time. Farewell.”

Leonardo watched how this man turned on his spot slowly, starting to further away from him.

”Why you came back – Raphael?”

Big turtle instantly stopped and Leonardo knew it was him. Walking next to other turtle Leonardo lifted Raphael’s hat to be able to meet his eyes. They were still golden, but there also were signs of age. He had wrinkles and his scales color had turned more darker grayish-green.

Staring into those eyes made Leonardo feel weird. He was both shocked and happy to see Raphael. However, the more longer blue eyes stayed on the yellow orbs, the more moist they turned, tears finally rolling down on Raphael’s cheeks.

”I’m sorry… I just wanted ta come and say I’m sorry. For that what I did ta ya.”

Leonardo swallowed down a lump in his throat. It was… hard and painful to watch other turtle cry, hear so much pain and regret in his voice.

”It’s alright. Really. You did it to save me. Besides, it was so long time ago already. And it happened only once.”

Looking down at his feet Raphael was sniffing, struggling to breath once more.

”I still… would need… ta know… Can ya ever… f-forgive me? I regret it… what I did… Ya were the… first one who I ever… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Leonardo smiled softly while watching old hands raise to wipe away unleashed tears. Stepping closer Leonardo placed his hand on Raphael’s shoulder, rubbing it gently.

”Raphael. I have forgive you long time ago. There’s nothing more to forgive.”

Surprised orbs with yellow color darted at Leo’s direction. Raphael clearly hadn’t expected forgiveness. Smiling more kinder Leonardo took Raphael’s arm in his, slowly turning him around.

”Why won’t you come and sit down? I was planning on cooking soon. Besides it’s beautiful day. Take of your gears and enjoy the sun. You are safe here with me.”

Leonardo didn’t know why he said the last sentence, but it felt important. Like if Raphael needed to hear that.

Without a word Raphael nodded, allowing Leonardo to lead him on the stairs. Smiling down Leonardo took Raphael’s hat, placing it to hang on the wall.

”Don’t worry, I will help you up whenever you want to get up.”

Raphael snorted with humor.

”Ya are too kind.”

Leonardo said nothing as he went inside, leaving Raphael alone to undress himself. After he was free from all his gears, Raphael leaned slightly back on his arms, facing the sun. Trying to take his lungs full of nature’s fresh air only made him cough heavily, giving him instant issues of breathing.

Leonardo rushed back to his side, kneeling down.

”Raphael?!”

Shaky old hand rose up as a sign for Leo to wait and Leo waited – even that it was horrible. Watching and listening other turtle to cough like that, gasping for air like if he was constantly drowning… It was horrible.

When cough storm was over, Raphael sighed slightly accepting water bowl from Leonardo.

”What’s wrong with you? That coughing with your breathing sounds… horrible.”

Raphael said nothing as he stared his hands, Leonardo now noticing how Raphael’s hands were scarred, his fingers constantly in a shape of a half moon. They also trembled slightly.

”What happened to you?”

There was not so amused snort before tired golden eyes turned to look at him.

”Ya wanna hear the story now or after the dinner?”

Leonardo thought it a bit. Raphael seemed to be willing to tell about his past now, so should he ask him to go on? Because there was a chance Raphael would change his mind after dinner.

”After dinner, but you must promise me you will tell me the truth.”

”I will, I will.”

When he had Raphael’s word, Leonardo nodded and stood up. Inside the house he spend the whole time in silence as he prepared them a meal over irori.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael reveals what happened after his return.

Leonardo was sitting on his knees, his hands on his thighs as his eyes were staring Raphael who was finishing his dish. Leonardo had managed to get him inside the house in the shade from the sun since, while both turtles enjoyed warmth, afternoon sun was quite hot.

Raphael sighed as he placed the bowl down in his lap. He had never eaten anything so good, so fulfilling dish as well. He wanted to take more, but he was too ashamed. However, Leonardo had already noticed how bigger turtle had been eyeing the pot above the fire while eating.

”Please, eat as much as you like. I can always make more too. I don’t want you to be starving.”

Blushing with embarrassment, Raphael lowered his head with thanks, offering his bowl to Leonardo who took it, filling it. Having a second bowl of food made big old turtle so happy. He was eating slow, but he also started to tell his story. He had made Leonardo wait long enough.

”So… What ya wanna know?”

”What happened to you? What happened after you brought me here?”

Raphael sighed through his nostrils while chewing rice, azuki beans and meat in his mouth.

”I went back, naturally. However if I would had known what kind of shit my superiors would make me go through… I would had stayed here with ya.”

Leonardo swallowed. Not because Raphael would had been there with him, but what he had been forced to go through.

”Did they… take you by force?”

Raphael snorted quietly, his eyes staring white rice in his bowl.

”Yeah. They locked me in the room which I told ya about back then. I don’t know how long I was kept there. When they took me out, they weren’t satisfied. They said I had betrayed them by taking ya and letting ya go.”

”But why? You are… or were, one of them. And you claimed me so you had all the rights to do whatever you wanted to me, right?”

”Normally it goes that way, but many superiors – above me – had targeted their eyes on ya. They wanted ya ta be their play pet. I found out about this when ya were at the palace. I couldn’t let them have ya so I brought ya here.”

Leonardo was quiet, thinking. ”So they found out you freed me, took me out of their reach and therefor they punished you?”

”Punished, tortured, tried ta make me talk. Whatever ya like ta call it.” Yellow orbs rose to meet blue orbs for the first time now, flash of anger crossing them. ”But I said nothing and it pissed them off even more.”

Smaller turtle swallowed, not sure would he like to know what happened next. But he had to know.

”What’s next?”

”They tried ta make me talk by breaking my hands, my fingers.” Lifting his hands up Raphael looked at them. ”As ya can see, my fingers aren’t straight. They won’t get more straighter than this. There’s constant pain in them and with age my hands have started ta shake too.”

Leonardo’s eyes were locked on those horrible looking hands. They hurt Leonardo’s heart and he didn’t even try to hide the pain on his face.

”As a mutant my fingers kept healing quite fast and well, but at some point, after they kept breaking them over and over again, my body started ta slow down their healing progress. They never fully healed back ta their normal state as ya can see.”

Silently Leonardo moved right next to bigger turtle, taking extremely soft and gentle hold on Raphael’s left hand, studying his damaged fingers carefully with his fingertips.

”All this… Because of me…”

”No. Ya can’t blame yourself about my injuries.”

”But without claiming me you wouldn’t had been forced to go through all that! Without me… You…”

”Without me ya would had ended up ta be their sex toy for decades. I take broken fingers any day than the fact ya ended up being their toy because of me on my conscience.”

The house fell silent, silent cracking from burning woods in irori trying to bring them some comfort.

“… What about your breathing issues? Is it their doing? And your leg?”

Raphael was silent a bit, swallowing once.

“They didn’t want ta kill me, but ruin me. After they got tired of breaking my fingers, they broke my knee many times. It healed too because I’m a mutant, but eventually my body couldn’t heal it back ta normal either.”

Raphael took a sip of his water from small cup before answering on Leo’s other questions.

“My superiors with their scientists had managed ta create new poison gas. It needed ta be tested so… They locked me in super small room, filling it with the gas. It burned. It burned my lungs so darn bad. I…”

Breathing heavily Raphael closed his eyes, trying to control his emotions since he knew they would give him hard times to breath. He needed to stay calm if he wanted to breath even slightly better.

“I’m here with you.” Leonardo’s soft voice whispered as his hold on Raphael’s hand tightened carefully.

“I… don’t know what that poison exactly was but ever since then breathing has become so difficult ta me. I can’t run anymore, I can’t do anything – even slightly – heavy lifting. Just normal slow walking makes me have hard times ta breath. Inhaling is the most difficult and painful.”

“Poison damaged your lungs?”

“Yeah. Those bastards. I would had rather die than live like this. Constantly feeling there isn’t enough air, can’t take more deeper breaths since it hurts, can’t do anything either. It all sucks.”

Leonardo was silent, blue eyes lowering back on Raphael’s hand which he still was holding.

“… I’m glad you are alive and here.” As their eyes met, Leonardo continued. “I’m sure it’s not pleasant in any way to be in pain, having issues of breathing and all that, but… Still. I’m glad you are alive.”

Raphael said nothing as he eyed the other turtle who was running his finger over Raphael’s.

“Tho I must say I’m most sorry for all what you went through. You didn’t deserve it.”

Raphael had fell silent and Leonardo took it as a hint that the conversation was over. Not saying more smaller turtle stood while taking their bowls, going outside to wash them. After a while he heard heavy panting, turning to look towards the door. Raphael was moving slowly towards the doorway, coming outside.

“Where are you going?” Leonardo watched Raphael to get out and walk on the road some before asking that.

Stopping Raphael looked over his shoulder.

“I told ya before. I just wanted ta see ya, ask forgiveness and since ya are well and forgave me I have no reasons ta stay.”

“Will you go back?”

“Hell no. I just… Will head somewhere. I’m sure I’ll –”

“With that leg?”

Looking down at his left leg, which Leonardo pointed from further away, Raphael sighed carefully.

“Yeah.”

“Raphael.” Voice was firm but kind as light green turtle stopped next to him. “You can’t get far with that leg. And your lungs. You just told me how bad state you are in. Why go out there and walk who knows where and how long?”

“Then what the hell I should do?”

Leonardo smiled. “Well, look around. This place is big for both of us. You can stay here with me. I admit it’s weird, a bit scary in a way too, but at the same time I know I can’t let you go. I don’t want it on my conscience if I let you go and you end up dying. So, please, stay. I will take care of you.”

Leonardo waited while suspicious yellow orbs scanned him many times up and down, small smile finally spreading on bigger turtle’s lips.

”Ya sure ya can handle me?”

Now Leonardo laughed, relaxing more around Raphael.

”I think I will find a way.”

**

Few weeks later Leonardo had come to realize that taking care of Raphael wasn’t all that easy. He was under Leo’s watchful eyes all the time because of his breathing problems – and because big turtle was stubborn, trying to sneak to help Leonardo with some heavier tasks. Leonardo always lectured him for this.

But nights were the worst. Many times during the nights Leonardo had jerked awake when hearing Raphael gasping air next to him. Eventually it had lead to it that Leonardo didn’t even dare to try to sleep. He was too afraid Raphael would die if he wasn’t awake to watch after him.

Dark circles under Leo’s eyes had been very clear and visible to Raphael who felt guilty about it. He knew Leonardo was watching his sleep by sacrificing his own rest. There had been few times when bigger turtle had tried to sneak out and leave, but Leonardo had always caught him, not allowing Raphael to leave.

”Hey, Raphael.”

”Yeah?”

Old yellow eyes turned their focus on Leonardo who sat next to him outside, bathing in the sun.

”I’ve been thinking… There’s something what I would like to try on you.”

Raphael gave very suspicious look to younger male.

”Don’t worry. It wouldn’t be anything bad.”

”Let me decide about that after ya have told me what’s in your mind.”

Leonardo chuckled gently with soft smile as he turned his eyes on Raphael.

”My whole life I’ve been aware of healing energy called reiki. I give reiki energy to my plants every day, I clean and bless the water with it before I drink it and if I get small cuts or other small injuries I give them reiki too. It has helped them heal, just like it has helped my plants to grow.”

”Your point?”

”I could give you reiki and see if it would help your lungs for example. I can’t promise it will, but I think it would be worth the shot. You have nothing to lose, after all. On top of it, it wouldn’t hurt.”

Big turtle leaned forward, keeping his gaze locked at the distance when his mind weighted Leo’s words.

”I have heard about reiki too. Just never haven’t believe in it, tho.”

”Let me try it. Please.”

Raphael made small grunt as he eyed Leonardo again who seemed to be quite eager to try reiki on him. Perhaps… It could be worth the shot. And Leonardo had said it wouldn’t hurt.

”Fine. But test it on my fingers first. They are in pain.”

Leonardo’s expression brightened with smile, making turtle crawl in hurry right next to older turtle. Taking Raphael’s left hand in his hands Leonardo was eager like a little kid.

Holding Raphael’s hand, Leonardo lifted his free hand to hover above Raphael’s hand, closing his eye with deep inhale and sigh.

”Give me a moment…”

”Hm.”

Raphael waited in silence, keeping his eyes strictly – in turns – on Leo’s face and their hands. Suddenly, and surely, Raphael started to feel his hand starting to warm up with… the most warmest and softest feeling ever. It didn’t burn, it wasn’t harsh or strong. Just gentle, warm and soft energy which surrounded his hand.

And the pain… It started to fade too! Now eyes wide open Raphael watched his hand in Leo’s, being completely blown away. So… Was this that reiki energy?

Raphael wanted to start to ask questions but didn’t dare to disturb Leonardo’s focus. Other turtle, after all, was sitting by his side eyes closed, focusing on this reiki energy. When treatment was over Leonardo opened his eyes with a sigh, smiling at bigger turtle’s stunned expression.

”I assume it worked?”

Nodding in awe Raphael moved his hand in front of his face, staring and studying it. There was still some pain, but it wasn’t even near as bad as before.

”I need to tell you that reiki won’t heal you at once. You need to use it many times, for a long time, if you want proper help and results. But even still I can’t promise it will heal you completely.”

”… That’s… Okay. As long as I get some relief ta the pain.”

Leonardo smiled with a nod. He would do whatever he could think of as long as it would help Raphael. Sitting in comfortable silence, both turtles closed their eyes as the sun kept kissing them with warmth.

**

Ever since that day Leonardo gave Raphael reiki healing to his hands, leg and lungs once a day. It had been a long road, but eventually those reiki sessions had started to show some signs of working on bigger turtle.

His fingers weren’t so painful anymore and he could walk a bit better too. Surely he still limped, but it wasn’t so heavy and big movement anymore, but still clear and visible.

Raphael was now breathing a little better too which eased his life so much. Now he was able to help Leonardo at the house and yard in some ways. Just slight work like preparing a meal or picking up vegetables. No carrying water or anything heavy was strictly forbid. If Raphael even tried, he got very angry stare from Leonardo.

That damn turtle most surely had eyes on his back! How else he was able to keep following Raphael’s every move so well?

But Raphael really hadn’t anything to complain about. Life with Leonardo had provided to be good. Not to mention the fact how much Raphael enjoyed those reiki session. He liked to feel other turtle’s hands touching him, delivering that warm pure healing energy.

Even now, while food was boiling in the pot above the fire, Raphael laid on the grass under the sun’s warmth, Leonardo patiently on his knees next to him, his hands resting on bigger turtle’s chest. Leonardo couldn’t held back the smile as he kept his eyelids shut.

Raphael was breathing so much better under his hands. Leonardo, especially, had focused a lot on Raphael’s lungs. His fingers and leg he would focus on later. Feeling Raphael shift a bit under his palms, Leonardo opened his eyes. Smile instantly widened on his face.

”Are you sleeping?”

Bigger turtle turned his head a bit, looking absolutely and fully relaxed.

”Mmh ~”

Leonardo smirked with a smile, giving reiki few more minutes before stopping. Placing hands on his thighs Leonardo smiled before standing up. Tho it seemed other turtle was not going to move an inch. He was feeling too good and relaxed.

”Can I wake you up to eat if you fall asleep?”

”Hmm.”

Leonardo shook his head playfully with a smile as he turned towards the house, stopping on the first step when feeling a hold on the edge of his hakama. Looking down behind him, he saw Raphael holding lazily on the fabric.

It took few seconds before Raphael sighed, turned his head and opened his eyes. His bright eyes met Leo’s blue orbs instantly.

”… Thank ya. For letting me live here.”

Leonardo chuckled slightly. ”You mean forcing you to live here?”

Now it was Raphael’s turn to chuckle.

”Say it as ya want. But I mean it. I never thought my life would get this good after all the shit what was done ta me. Ya… really have saved me.”

Leonardo smiled warmly, reaching down to stroke Raphael’s hand which still held on his hakama.

”You are most welcome. I am happy you decided to come here.”

Watching Leonardo go in the shadows of the house, checking the food, Raphael smiled while keeping his eyes on the turtle. He couldn’t stop smiling as he felt as warm as the sun on the inside.

He had never felt this way and it made him giggly. Turning to look at the clouds slowly sliding through the sky, Raphael sighed as deep as he could, his eye lids closing.

This was… nice. Nice way to be. Nice way to live. Perhaps it was even right way to be and live. No worries, no works to be done, no one bossing you around, no pain… Just… Peace, freedom and happiness – and someone to share it all with. Raphael was extremely grateful to anyone up there about Leonardo.

That turtle was his angel.

Hearing hakama’s rustling made Raphael sit up as the sound got closer and closer. Eyeing blue eyed turtle, Raphael instantly noticed big bowls what the turtle was carrying. Sitting next to bigger turtle, Leonardo smiled while handing another bowl to him.

”It’s hot so don’t burn your mouth.”

”Yes, mom. I’ll be careful.”

Leonardo rolled his eyes with a smile as he watched Raphael starting to eat with chopsticks. Holding them seemed to be easier to bigger turtle now that his fingers weren’t hurting so bad.

Starting to eat as well, Leonardo couldn’t help but to smile inside. So much had happened and it all felt unreal, scary too in a way. First he had got drugged and kidnapped, then raped, then freed and now he was taking care of the one who had been behind all that. However...

Looking at bigger turtle from the corner of his eye, Leonardo couldn’t believe Raphael was all that bad. Just look at him! How someone, so adorable in his own annoying way, could be all that bad? Not to mention someone like him hadn’t deserved to be tortured and raped...

Suddenly all thoughts and memories of their bad past came in his mind, twisted Leo’s guts strong and nasty – making him lose his appetite. Blankly Leonardo kept staring remains of his food for a long moment.

”Ya ain’t eating.”

Snapping out of his thoughts, Leonardo turned his slightly round and confused eyes on Raphael who was staring him back firmly.

”What’s on your mind?”

Leonardo sighed as he looked down in his bowl.

”Just… All that what happened back then. To both of us.”

That was all what Raphael needed to hear to know what Leonardo meant.

Placing his half empty bowl on the ground, Raphael moved to sit right next to the smaller old turtle, wrapping his arm on Leo’s shoulders.

”Now ya listen ta me. This is our happy place so no thinking any of that shit. I know I’m one ta blame for that what happened, but… Please, don’t. Don’t think any of it. Just… Live. Live in a moment. I know it’s hard. It’s for me too, but we can do it.”

Leonardo smiled, staring deep in those soft yellow orbs. Not saying a word, Leonardo turned a bit so that he could hug Raphael.

”Our happy place.”

Raphael snorted playfully.

”Yeah. Our happy place. So don’t ya dare ta try ta ruin it with the shit from the past.”

Leonardo laughed as he released big turtle from the hug. They shared a moment just looking at each other in the eyes with a smile before Raphael got up with a groan.

”If ya are done staring at me, how about ya go do some work?”

”And what do you mean by that?”

Raphael smirked as he bend to pick up Leo’s bowl from the ground, staring deep in the blue eyes. There was new playful spark in them.

”Those weeds ain’t getting out from vegetable field by themselves.”

Leonardo laughed as he stood up.

”So you are hinting that I should be the one to pick up the weeds?”

”Who else? Ya don’t let me do anything.” Taking quick look up and down, Raphael grinned. ”Tho, I can come ta watch that ya do your job.”

Leonardo blew air between his lips, making ”ppff” sound.

”You really think I will let you boss me around here?”

”Hey! Ya been bossing me around here.”

”For your own good. You are still recovering.”

”Still.”

”Still not!”

Turtles laughed as they kept on bickering, heading inside the house.

Sure the start of their life hadn’t been all sunshine and roses, but this little place, indeed, was theirs and they would make sure it was full of happiness. No any shit from the past could reach them there.


End file.
